Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourself.
Our story takes place once upon a time ago. I was working my way through life at the Sierra Nut House in Fresno. It was enjoyable work with the most eclectic customers. After a few months I had a general idea of who the regulars were and, truth be told, I loved every single one of them. Now my job duties were as diverse as the customers. One day I was a barista, the next I was gift basket maker extraordinaire.
One day, I was sweeping the store when I heard the front door open. It was policy to greet our customers when they entered so I stopped sweeping and looked up.
There, in the doorway, stood the most beautiful man I had ever seen! When he walked the wind blew, the angels sang, and the sun would lend a ray just to highlight his hair. I was sure of one thing; this was heaven. I had somehow died and went to heaven. The gentleman walked through the store to locate a couple of items. Of course, I let my eyes just ravish his body…where they noticed his spandex bike shorts…
Oh… My… God…
So one nosebleed and several splashes to the face later, I finally emerged from the bathroom to look for the mysterious angel. I was disappointed (well as disappointed as I could be) to see him walking out the door.
Weeks passed and the beautiful stranger had not returned. Disgruntled, I decided to give up hope on seeing him again. I even joked with my co-workers saying I would write my number on his receipt if he ever came back in.
This is where any smart person would stop… luckily; no one has ever accused me of such a thing.
I was working the coffee section of the store stocking some coffee cups behind the register, happily singing away, when I heard someone clear his throat. I shot up and started activating the cash register.
“Hi welcome to Sierra Nut house, can I he-…”
No, I did not finish, because lo and behold there stood the beautiful stranger! I stood dumbfounded and after a moment of awkward silence I remembered to close my mouth. He just laughed and ordered a coffee and a granola bar. Happily I nodded and went to work making the coffee, which wasn’t hard considering I made the best latte’s. Once I finished and he paid, I went to hand him back his change… and was reminded what a klutz I was. A dime had slipped through my fingers and, like a reflex, my hand jerked to catch it. Somehow this hand movement sent the tiny metal currency hurling at him! I wasn’t sure how it happened; my mind could only register the quarters bouncing off his body. Immediately, my hands flew up with an “Oh my God!” and, of course, the laughing started. He picked up his change, laughed, and walked away. With nothing left, I sank behind the cash register mumbling a series of “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
Of course, then I heard,
“Um, miss? I forgot my granola bar…”
Damn.
No, there are no breaks when it comes to God’s mercy. Needless to say he left shortly after… without my phone number.
Student Column: When A Hot Guy Comes Around, I Wish I Weren't So Stupid
Published: Thursday, March 19, 2009
Updated: Thursday, April 2, 2009
 "Photo: Baldemar Rivas")
Baldemar Rivas
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