Watchmen - March 6 - Everyone and their grandma wants to see this movie and I don’t blame them. From the director of 300 comes a movie that’s way better, look out for my full review.
Race to Witch Mountain – March 13 – Dwayne Johnson continues to play it safe with his movie career. Seriously, the man should be a star already but it’s movies like this that keep him down. From the director of The Game Plan comes a “reimagining” of the 1975 Disney film Escape to Witch Mountain. After the spirit-crushing Watchmen this is the movie people will use to pick themselves up.
Duplicity – March 20 – Clive Owen and Julia Roberts star in director Tony Gilory’s second film (his first being Michael Clayton). The movie is a mix between romantic-comedy and a heist film. Early word says that the two leads are great together but it is Tom Wilkinson and Paul Giamatti who steal the show as rival CEOs.
I Love You, Man – March 20 – Paul Rudd and Jason Segal step away from the Apatow name and make their own average rated R comedy. Comedic highlight is a small role by Jon Favreau.
Knowing – March 20 – Alex Proyas is a director I want to like but after I, Robot and now this I can’t defend a man who has turned himself into a journeyman. Nicholas Cage stars in another end of the world thriller, I’m sure this movie will make its’ money back on DVD rentals.
Monsters vs. Aliens – March 27 – From DreamWorks Animation comes a kid’s movie that just looks okay. DreamWorks isn’t out to best Pixar, and looks as if all they want to do is entertain, one hopes the 3-D film can deliver. The film will also be shown in IMAX.
12 Rounds – March 27 – Director Renny Harlin returns to what he does best; cheap action films. Starring professional wrestler John Cena as a cop in race against time to save his wife. This looks like the kind film I loved when I was eleven years old. I’m hoping this movie will the be the good kind of stupid.
Adventureland – April 3 – From the director of Superbad comes a movie that’s nothing like it. Early reviews indicate we’ll be getting a Dazed and Confused for a new generation and not just another Waiting…
Fast & Furious – April 3 – The original cast from the first film return for the fourth entry in the “cars that go fast” franchise. Shouldn’t have this been the first sequel instead of needless second and third films? Here’s to wishing John Ortiz has fun with his role as the bad guy.
Dragonball Evolution – April 8 – Holy crap this looks like crap! This doesn’t even look like the “so bad it’s good” kind of entertaining. The only good that can come out of this is that the movie will teach fans how lame they are for liking such a stupid franchise.
Observe and Report – April 10 – Easily one of my most anticipated movies of the year. Director Jody Hill is making a name for himself in the “pitch black dark comedy” genre. Seth Rogen stars as a mall cop on the trail of a flasher. Michael Pena looks amazing as Rogen’s partner.
Crank: High Voltage – April 17 – Sequel to the 2006 action film. I think you already know whether you’re watching this movie or not. I wasn’t fan of the first film but High Voltage looks so wild and insane which is what the sequel needs to be. Apparently shot on a $12 million dollar budget the filmmakers make no effort to hide the cheapness. Tasteless, cheap, nasty, excessive, foul-mouthed but looks like a helluva fun time at the theatres.
The Soloist – April 24 – Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx star in this drama about a LA Times columnist who discovers a homeless violinist. Looks like the run-of-the-mill type movie that everyone will enjoy. I have absolutely no desire to see this.
The Informers – April 24 – Based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis (yes, the same guy who wrote American Psycho). The film features an ensemble cast that includes Billy Bob Thornton, Winona Ryder, Kim Basinger, and Mickey Rourke. If you ever needed a movie to tell you the 80s sucked this is it.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine – May 1– Here it is, the start of the summer blockbuster. Hugh Jackman returns as everyones’ favorite X-man. Fans of the character have been waiting their whole lives for a movie like this. The only guarantee is that the movie will be least embarrassing installment of the X-men franchise.
Star Trek – May 8 – JJ Abrams does his take on the defunct Sci-Fi franchise. I’m sure fans will appreciate the effort but will audiences make this movie a hit? When viewing the trailer all I get is Lost in Space flashbacks and that movie had Gary Oldman.
Angels & Demons – May 15 – Ron Howard and Tom Hanks return on the quest to make more money. Based on the novel by Dan Brown, only morons will think this movie is worth an inkling of importance. I’m just wondering if any one will take Tom Hanks parachuting seriously.
Terminator: Salvation – May 22 – At first I thought, “do we need another terminator movie?” Then I realized when I was a kid, isn’t this exactly the kind of movie I wanted out of the terminator franchise? (Wouldn’t it be cool if that beginning scene from Terminator 2 was a whole movie?) I think this will be the movie of the summer; it’s going to surprise everyone. Even though we all love Christian Bale, it’ll be the performance by Sam Worthington that we’ll remember.
11 comments
Then you just seem to go off and list all the movies you DONT want to see, and talk about how horrible they all are. Sad really.