Florincio Torres, and Cindy Tapia keep up a healthy relationship throught many means of communication. Photo by: Jordon Dean

Defining a relationship these days has become complicated. Where does it begin? “We’re talking.” When I first heard this description, I had to pause. “We’re talking”? Then I realized, how true it is. If a single person perceives a relationship as “we’re talking,” then how does that translate to someone in a relationship who talks to someone else? It’s a very shady area.

If you were in a committed relationship, would talking be considered cheating? There’s a certain amount of excitement and hope that arises in conversations with a person you find attractive. There are hopes the talking will lead to spending time together, and more. You know what I mean. I believe that if one person in the relationship is jealous, and the other defends his/herself by saying, “We’re just talking” then they are guilty of jeopardizing the relationship and boundaries need to be set.

It’s what you’re talking about, and who you’re talking to. If you are attracted to him or her, it’s about making the connection. If talking about how green the grass was, who should run for president, or losing your job, or whatever—if you’re attracted you will make the effort to keep talking.

Talking seems harmless. Everyone does it. Everyday. But there are “talking” boundaries when it comes to relationships. Do you check or trade phones to prove trustworthiness? Does this mean if you’re in a relationship, you can’t talk to anyone else? Where do you draw the line?

If you are in a committed relationship, from boyfriend or girlfriend, living together, to married, there are boundaries couples must keep in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

Here are some boundaries.

1. Consider the time of day. If you’re having a conversation with someone late into the night for longer than a half an hour, it is considered an intimate part of the day.
2. Don’t discuss problems you are having in your relationship with someone who might have a potential interest in seeing that relationship end.
3. Don’t lie about it. If you have deleted messages and lied to your partner about having the conversations, then it was probably wrong. Don’t use the excuse that you thought they would be jealous. Be honest. If your intentions were good, then you could take the jealousy.

Some people jump into committed relationships before they are ready to commit. One person may push for the relationship faster when the other is not ready to commit and this usually ends badly. It usually ends with that person “talking” to someone else.

Each relationship may need more or less boundaries. It depends on each couple. Agree to the boundaries and abide by them.